butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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