do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
