Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
