R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
