Kiss
Puke
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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