a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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