all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
