My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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