I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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