Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
