I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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