Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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