No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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