Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
