New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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