shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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