We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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