I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize