Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize