Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
