My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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