The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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