My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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