so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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