Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
