Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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