u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
someone get that fucking seahorse.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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