I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
