is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize