ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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