i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
