We won't sleep together?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
