Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
