oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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