he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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