i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
All I want is dick and wine.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize