It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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