After last night, I could never be a politician.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
