i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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