Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
