your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
