Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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