gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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