he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
