But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
