You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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