Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
