Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
