forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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