She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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