It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
