you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
