You made me cry and you don't even care
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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