so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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