Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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