God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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