so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
